The Fifth Commandment

Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother

When dealing with kids these days, I hear something ALL THE TIME and it simply drives me up a wall berserk out of my mind. The statement is simply this, “I gave up that battle a long time ago.” Or, “I’m tired of fighting with them about it and I give up.” What I don’t understand is why there is a “battle” or a “fight” to begin with. When did we transition out of our children being required to do what we tell them too? I don’t remember a time in my childhood when I had options. When my parents told me to do something, I did it. If I didn’t, it was called disrespect and I got in trouble for it. After a while of getting in trouble, I realized I needed to do what I was told. Why does it have to be a battle? Why does it need to be a fight. You’re the parent for crying out loud! They are children! They are supposed to do what you tell them to. There is no option. You tell them to do something or they get in trouble. It should go something like this….”Listen here son, I told you to. Really? You’re not going to. O.k., enjoy being grounded.” Doesn’t sound like a fight to me. Sounds like teaching respect and honoring a parent’s position in the house. I’m tired of the power that children have these days. Gone are the days of children having privileges. Privileges have been replaced with rights. The rights to be able to decide as children what they are or are not going to abide by. I believe the granting of these rights is a core reason we see the problems we see in today’s youth. You are a parent. Act like it. If it’s 24 degrees out and your child wants to go to school with shorts on, tell them no and go change into pants. If the child rebukes your authority and talks back in any way, simply choose to not take them to school and receive an unexcused absence. Then ground them for being disobedient and disrespectful. It’s not a fight. You are the authority of your house. Grow a spine and act like it. Husbands and wives have no problem standing up to each other, bossing each other around and standing up to one another but when it comes to their children they can't tell them no and they can't tell them to do something. There's something wrong with this. Some say by allowing them to make their own decision, you are allowing your child to learn on their own. Yes you are. You’re allowing them to learn to be disrespectful and they don’t need to respect authority. What you’re not teaching them is how to function as an adult in a structured society with boundaries and consequences and the fact that they will have someone to answer to. There’s a reason why God gave us the Fifth Commandment, by following this Commandment, a child learns the skills required to function within society. It’s about time we got back to honoring our mothers and fathers. If we don’t, we will only continue to see the degradation of our youth and an ever downward spiral of their disrespectfulness.

Hands-On-Itis

When I was a kid, my parents never left us home alone.  While dad was at work, we went with our mother every where she went.  If it was to get the oil changed, the grocery store or the mall, we went with our mom.  We also knew how to behave when we went out into public.  I was constantly hearing things like “look with your eyes, not your hands” or “That’s not meant to be picked up” or “Your fingers don’t have eyes in them.”  The thing about those statements is we knew what they meant and they had teeth.  We knew what would happen if we disobeyed them.  When we were out in public, I have very distinct memories of people coming up to my parents and commenting to them about what well behaved children we were.  When this happened, I remember feeling really good and proud and the pride my parents felt.  If we were actually granted permission to pick something up, we were also expected to put the item back where we found it and if something else was messed up in the aisle we were to put that back as well.  The old adage of leave it better than you found it always applied.

 

Now that I’m a parent, I remember my childhood and I have expectations that what I experienced should be the same for my children.  Apparently I’m wrong in this expectation.  I go to the store and it amazes me the chaos I see from children.  Parents no longer have control over them.  They run through the aisles unattended without a thought from the parent that there is anything wrong with that.  A lot of times, a parent is not even accompanying them.  It’s almost as if the toy aisle is deemed as their personal toy box.  My children are not left unattended but as hard as I try to have expectations of good behavior, they, too, have “Hands-On-Itis.”  I do not recall one time a person stopping me to tell me how impressed they are by my kids well behaved manners.  Again, I do not want to paint a picture that my kids are out of control chaotic demons.  By todays standards, I would have to say that they are probably better than most but not angels. 

 

To keep consistent with my blog format I have made an observation of something that may have over time been partly responsible for ill behaved children in the store.  I know, I know, I can’t hold any one thing responsible.  I believe it’s just one thing amid a myriad of many that is contributing to the delinquency of our children and causing them to not know how to properly conduct themselves.  The sad thing is, it’s not our kids fault either.  Parents, when you read below the evil device in which I reference, you will sit back and you will go “Ahhhhh, I think this guy is on to something here.”  When I was a kid, I do not remember this device being in existence.  Like many things in my life, I can say that when I was a child, me and my friends had to use our imagination.  In so many aspects of my children’s lives today, they have no need for imagination.  Before I tell you what this device is, I ask any of you who may have kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews or an association to any children you may have cause to take to the store, to take a trip with me down today’s version of the toy aisle.  Picture yourself standing there in that noise, mayhem and mess of an aisle and focus in on one little thing commonly found in the toy aisle today.  I give you the “Try Me" button.  Yes people, the “Try Me" button.  How can children resist the power these 2 words, noise and lights have over them.  I don’t blame them.  I tell you people, it’s a fight we can not win. 

 

So I say to you all, good luck the next time you have to go to the store.  You’re going to need it.

 

Brinx

Chivalry is now dead!

This is my first ever blog post. I've been thinking about things a lot lately. I recently just rounded the ripe old age of 40 and for some reason think that I have some experience in the ways of the world now. This revelation that I have experience has been revealed to me through simple observations I've recently made. I hope to share some of those with you on a somewhat regular basis. It migh be daily, it might be weekly, it might be monthly. As I observe something I find myself compelled to write about it. I think you'll see where I'm going with these observations and invite you to submit some of your own.

My first observation I'd like to call the demise of chivalry and why.

When is the last time you opened a door for someone? Was it at the grocery store? Was it at the mall? For gosh sakes, was it for your wife or girlfriend? I believe the world is slowly losing the art of chivalry and the simple act of, or lack thereof, opening or holding the door for someone else is just one example. We simply don't do it any more. I don't necessarily think it's our fault either.

I remember when I was a child, my father taught me to be polite and when you meet someone at the door at the same time, you let the other person go through first. You might even go so far as to open the door and hold it for them so they would have to go through first. Most important with this act was women. Even if you were clearly to the door first, you would honor a woman by going out of your way to make sure a woman behind you would enter a door first before you. By all means you might even pick up the pace if you were behind a woman so you could get to the door first so as to be able to open it for her. It goes without saying that your wife, girlfriend or mother would NEVER open the car door for herself.

I have observed the above as a child and to a degree my father has rubbed off on me. I believe in politely allowing someone the honor of going into a building before I do. I often do hold a door for another to go in before I do. When at all possible I try to remember to open the car door for my wife. But, more often than not, I observe the exact opposite of these actions. People, in general, no longer care about allowing someone else to enter the store before them. In fact, I see people race beyond others to go in before someone. I rarely see a car door opened for a wife or girlfriend. There are 2 key reasons that I think are the main contributing factors as to why this has developed and that chivalry is now dead. I'll simply state what they are and I don't think I'll have to say anymore. I think like I, you will just sit back and go "Ah yes, I see what he's talking about." So, from the long diatribe above I give you 2 simple reasons why I think we've seen a demise in chivalry:

1). Automatic doors at the grocery store/out there in the world

2). Keyless entry automobiles

These 2 things have left us out of the habit and prevent us from practicing the above art. And we all know, practice makes perfect.

So as you go about your day, take the blinders off and observe the world around you. You'll be surprised how much of the above you'll witness for yourself.

Brinx